I haven't written in this since Fisher's suicide, I see. Wow,that was a sad time. We went up to the graveyard today,which alot of people do on Easter for some odd reason. And I saw his grave, along with alot of my family.

But that's not why i'm writing in here. There are some things that I feel like I need to talk about.

I've recently been having this problem. I've been feeling very anti-social, but the weird part is that it's my fault. Many times before..I'd hang out with my friends everyday for a long time, and then disappear for a while and just chill with the closest friends. That was mainly because I would find myself caught up in alot of drama, so I would decide to lay low for a while and then just pick everything back up later after everything kind of settles itself.
Well, that isn't really the case now. Recently I got out of a relationship (that relationship of mine that's lasted about two and a half years on and off). For the first week,I felt a little relieved thinking it was finally the end. I had grown pretty tired of him all together. After a while,though..I started to feel a little lonely,so I decided to try to get in touch with my old friends and try to meet some new guys. But I found myself being bored. I realized how much i've grown up. My friends seem to do the same old things they've always done,and I felt uninterested in all of it. Not only that, but any guy I met..I didn't find appealing. I don't mean appealing as in unattractive, I mean just not appealing in general. I felt annoyed and bothered when they would show up at my house unexpected, or let me know that they were interested in me.

So a few days ago my ex gave me a call. I wanted to tell him to go to hell, but since I was bored with my life and wasn't interested in anyone else at all,I gave in. And of course we ended up back together. But I feel like I really made a big mistake..