I haven't written in this since Fisher's suicide, I see. Wow,that was a sad time. We went up to the graveyard today,which alot of people do on Easter for some odd reason. And I saw his grave, along with alot of my family.

But that's not why i'm writing in here. There are some things that I feel like I need to talk about.

I've recently been having this problem. I've been feeling very anti-social, but the weird part is that it's my fault. Many times before..I'd hang out with my friends everyday for a long time, and then disappear for a while and just chill with the closest friends. That was mainly because I would find myself caught up in alot of drama, so I would decide to lay low for a while and then just pick everything back up later after everything kind of settles itself.
Well, that isn't really the case now. Recently I got out of a relationship (that relationship of mine that's lasted about two and a half years on and off). For the first week,I felt a little relieved thinking it was finally the end. I had grown pretty tired of him all together. After a while,though..I started to feel a little lonely,so I decided to try to get in touch with my old friends and try to meet some new guys. But I found myself being bored. I realized how much i've grown up. My friends seem to do the same old things they've always done,and I felt uninterested in all of it. Not only that, but any guy I met..I didn't find appealing. I don't mean appealing as in unattractive, I mean just not appealing in general. I felt annoyed and bothered when they would show up at my house unexpected, or let me know that they were interested in me.

So a few days ago my ex gave me a call. I wanted to tell him to go to hell, but since I was bored with my life and wasn't interested in anyone else at all,I gave in. And of course we ended up back together. But I feel like I really made a big mistake..

So Fisher committed suicide yesterday..

What the hell man,even though me and him drifted apart..it's really sad. He didn't seem like the type. So when I found out,I guess he took a bunch of pills and stuff,and I was like "Are you sure it wasn't an accident?"..I guess when they found him his wrists were all cut up as if he first attempted to slit his wrists and changed his mind.

It's really depressing. How could someone do that. Out of all the times I thought about committing suicide myself,I always thought of another reason to live. Maybe things aren't always going great,but they can get better. It's possible. He really did have alot to live for.

So yeah,I came to the conclusion that I don't use this Xanga,I probably still will sometimes which is why i'm keeping it.
     But I have another one .. tragedys_remnant

Just letting you know.

Hi.